


Time and Truths

by HazelFires



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 14:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16788892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelFires/pseuds/HazelFires
Summary: What if Alice never saw Bella cliff diving, which never led to her having to go after Edward in Italy? What if Bella stayed in Forks without the Cullens, and slowly began to realize her love for Jacob, her eternal sun? This story will explore the possibility of the life Bella might have had if she had realized how right Edward was to leave her behind that day in the forest.





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: I've been toying with writing this story for some time now, I just never could figure out just how I wanted it to go. This is going to take place in New Moon, just after the cliff diving incident. Alice never saw Bella jump, therefor Edward never went to Italy on his suicidal trip, and Bella never left to save him. It explores some of the other facets of Bella and Jacob's relationship. What would have been if Edward had not returned. From where I'm writing now, Edward will not return in this story.

This scene starts off in Bella's truck, as Jake is dropping her off at home to greet Charlie after Harry has died. She is contemplating telling Jacob how she feels, and trying to return the comfort he has continued to give her. Jake embraces her, and she hears one final hallucination of Edward's voice, telling her "Be happy".

Bella's POV:

"Be happy."

Edwards voice rang clear in my head as Jacob held me against him. I stiffened, so completely caught off guard by the declaration my subconscious had delivered just now. The truth was, I wanted to be happy. I wanted to try at least. I was tired of living in a shell of myself, watching as I withered away before everyone else, so helpless and fragile.

Jacob mistook my body language to mean I was uncomfortable with his embrace, and he immediately freed me from his arms, giving a light chuckle as he reached across me to push open the passenger door of the truck. The ancient metal groaned in protest against the force of his hand. "Jake, wait. I have some things I need to say." My voice trembled slightly. I hoped he wouldn't notice.

"I'd love to stay, but I really should get back to Sam and the others. We want to get a head start on that leech before she gets away again. Could it wait, just for a little while?" He gave me a warm smile, though it was tinged with frustration, and maybe a bit of weariness behind his eyes. He must be exhausted still. I felt guilty about the trouble I'd caused him with the cliff diving incident earlier.

"Sure thing. Charlie will be here soon, anyway." I shrugged. "And please.. please be careful.." I turned to look towards his face, lifting my head so that I could see his eyes a bit easier. He towered above me still. He just laughed, clearly not concerned with his own well being. "Relax, Bella. I promise you don't have to worry. She's no match for us." He winked at me, pulling me closer for a brief hug once more before he got out of the truck and started lightly jogging towards the edge of the trees surrounding my house. I slowly walked up the steps of the porch, watching as he disappeared in the distance. My heart ached for him, and how lightheartedly he strode headfirst into danger.

I pushed the thought from my mind as I turned the key in the lock and headed inside. Charlie would be back shortly, starving I'm sure. I tried to keep my mind busy as I heated up some leftovers for myself and Charlie. Unfortunately, once I shoved the lasagna into the oven, there was nothing else to do but wait in the silence, and contemplate everything.

The past six months felt like years. They had drug on and on, not waiting for me to catch up, it seemed. I glanced out the window and caught my reflection in the glass. The picture was astounding, and not in a good way. I looked sallow. Empty. I saw then what it must have been like for everyone, watching me sink into this abyss on my own. Guilt washed over me again as I thought of Charlie, and all I'd put him through. How did I let it get this bad? And over a love that was doomed from the start. I knew that. And still, I had let it tear me apart. Even putting myself in danger over and over again, just to fulfill a sick fantasy perpetuated by my own disturbed subconscience. Just to hear his voice. Piece by piece I had given myself away. I had nothing left. At least, nothing until Jacob came along. He somehow bound me together again, waiting for me all along. Never asking for anything in return. And selfishly I had just continued to take and take. How was that fair? How was that right? It wasn't, and I realized that now. I realized something else as well. I thought my heart was irreparably broken. Gone. Unrecognizable. Now I knew that Jacob held it for me. He had watched it fall to pieces and still, he did not turn away, as nearly everyone else had. He waited.

Tears filled my eyes as I came through my epiphany. That was real love. Unselfish. Giving unconditionally. A stark contrast to...before. I wrapped my arm around my chest, ready to hold myself together again. I found I didn't need it quite as much as I expected. When.. Edward.. I forced myself to think his name.. When he had been here, when he had loved me, it had felt so right. I had never known anything like it. How could I then realize how wrong it really was? How my infatuation with him was so misplaced, as was his? He had loved me in his own way, I was sure, but that was doomed from the beginning. From the first moment our eyes had met, a magnet pulled us together, both of us unable or unwilling to turn away. My blood called to him, just as everything about him had called to me. Of course a pull that strong would leave something else in its wake. But I looked at it with new eyes now, and I could see how it was right for us to say goodbye. It hurt still, but it was right. Edward and I never would have been able to escape the incessant way his whole being was designed to be my end. And I could.. What? End my life in exchange for that escape for him? I shook my head. Even he knew how that would have hurt me, how wrong it was, even when I couldn't see. In a way I was thankful to him for that.

The oven timer blared loudly, bringing me out of my stupor. I wondered briefly how long it had been going off. I shook my head again, clearing my thoughts, as I grabbed an oven mitt and retrieved the lasagna. I began slicing up two portions when I heard the front door creak open, and heavy footsteps followed. Charlie trudged slowly into the kitchen, his face turned down towards the floor, despair clearly evident in his features.

"Oh Charlie, I'm so sorry." I walked swiftly towards him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He seemed surprised at first, then relaxed into me, embracing me in return. We stayed like that a moment, a silent exchange between us, before he pulled back and sat himself in the chair next to him, not looking up at me.

"Thanks, Bells. I, uh, appreciate it." He coughed, looking up at me with red rimmed eyes. My heart ached for him, though I could sense he did not want to call attention to it any further. I served him his plate, quietly contemplating what to say next.

"It was just so unexpected. Poor Sue. And she's got those two kids. I couldn't imagine.." He trailed off then, taking a bite of his food. I sat beside him and did the same. I don't know what I would do if I lost Charlie. I shivered, realizing I had almost made that decision not too long ago.

"I couldn't imagine either." I shook my head, trying not to think of it anymore.

Charlie didn't say anything else, and we ate in silence. I cleaned the kitchen after we were done, trying to keep myself busy. Charlie said goodnight a bit earlier than usual and retired upstairs. I followed him shortly, though I desperately needed a shower before I tried to sleep. Try being the main goal. I couldn't concentrate on letting my body relax enough to sleep when I thought of the russet wolf out there somewhere, searching for the fire headed monster intent on my demise.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm new to all this, so bear with me! I've never written a love scene before, hope I did it justice. Please leave me a review and tell me how I'm doing!

I tossed and turned all night. Between my epiphany last night and my extreme anxiety over Jacob, sleep was nearly impossible. As soon as dawn began to peek through my window, I was up and dressed for the day. I heard Charlie come downstairs shortly after I sat down to my bowl of cereal in the kitchen.

"Hey, uh, I'm about to head out. See if I can't help Sue with a few things before everyone else starts to show up. You need anything?" I almost didn't recognize him. He wore a faded suit, unbuttoned at the waist, frayed a little at the ends of his sleeve. He looked uncomfortable and tired. I doubted he got much more sleep than me last night.

"No Dad, I'm alright. I'll probably head over to Jake's soon." I gave him a sympathetic smile, and he reached over and patted my arm on his way out the door. "Be careful. A bad storm is supposed to be coming in later."

"I will. Don't worry." I watched him leave and cleaned up my mess from breakfast. Jacob would be expecting me, and I didn't want to keep him waiting. I tried not to think about everything I wanted to say to him once I arrived. That would only serve to make me more nervous than I already was, which wouldn't help things.

I shrugged my parka over my t-shirt and bolted the lock as I headed out towards my truck. A little drizzle of rain fell now, though the clouds in the distance looked foreboding. The drive only took about 15 minutes, not enough time to really distract me from what lay ahead. I could feel my body humming with anxiety and something that felt a bit like excitement. I needed to see Jake's face and make sure he was alright. The small cottage seemed quiet as I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine of my truck.

Not wanting to linger, I trudged up to the porch and knocked softly. Billy was up and called me inside, pointing down the hall to Jake's room. As I peeked through his door I could see his huge figure snoring softly on the too small bed. He seemed in a deep sleep, and I didn't want to wake him. I returned to the living room to wait silently. Some others from the reserve had picked up Billy, taking him to Harry's funeral I assumed.

I must have drifted asleep on the couch, because I awoke to a warm touch on my cheek. I could hear Jake's soft laugh as I started to rise.

"Hey sleepyhead." His wide smile greeted me as he leaned over me from behind the couch.

"Jake! You're awake!" I launched myself upwards towards him, wrapping my arms around his towering figure as I kneeled on the couch. The relief I felt was palpable.

"Yeah, tough to sleep with all the snoring going on in here." He laughed as he released me, a teasing edge to his voice.

"I do not snore!" I playfully punched his arm. It hurt more than I expected. "How did last night go? Any, uh, news?" I didn't want to think of the name of the fiery vampire that had been stalking me the last few weeks.

"Ugh. We were so close last night. Paul and I just about had her cornered when she disappeared. I don't know how this keeps happening.." Jake's answering tone was short and filled with frustration. I tried not to let him see my hint of relief that he had not had a run in with her. I hated to think of him out there fighting her when I knew what she was capable of.

"But hey, didn't you say you wanted to talk to me yesterday? What's up?" Jacob sidled over the edge of the couch and joined me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as he settled in on the cushion beside me. My stomach lurched as I remembered my intended agenda today. A deep blush crept up to my cheeks, despite my effort to keep my cool.

"Uh yeah, I did. Wanna take a walk?" I figured I had a much better chance at getting the words out if I didn't have to sit and face him the entire time.

"Sure. Let's go. I have some time before the next patrol." He looked a bit perplexed at my aloofness as he stood up, taking my hand as he did so, and lead me outside. There was a narrow trail in the trees just past the edge of his house, and we headed towards it in the light drizzle of rain. We walked hand in hand in the silence for a few moments before he spoke up.

"Hey. Why so serious?" He playfully nudged my shoulder and I tried to smile in response.

Here it goes. Now or never. I took a deep breath to steady myself before I started up.

"Well, first off I guess I just wanna say thanks. For everything. I know I haven't been myself in a long time, and I think it's starting to come back to me now. Because of you. I was such a mess after.. Well.. You know.. and I don't know what I would have done without you." The words came out in a rush, and I wondered if he'd heard me.

Jake smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder again, squeezing lightly. The warmth was welcome in the chilly air.

"Bella, you don't have to say anything. It wasn't your fault. Not after what he did to you." He grimaced bitterly before continuing. "Besides, that's what friends are for." He smiled again, steering me out of the way of a stray tree root that threatened to trip me up.

I tried again, struggling to find just the right sentiment to express what I had come to realize the night before.

"That's not all, Jake. The whole cliff diving thing yesterday, and Harry's death," I paused, shaking my head as I tried to think. "I did a lot of thinking last night. A lot. Things have been all mixed up for so long, and I feel like I'm finally starting to see how they were meant to happen all along.."

Jacob looked over at me, his brow furrowed in puzzlement. "What do you mean? Bella, I don't think I'm getting what you're saying."

I stopped abruptly, turning to face him. My heart hammered in my chest and my stomach flipped over and over again below it. How could I make him see what I was trying to show him? I had kept him at a safe distance for so long, it seemed he had grown used to my brush offs when it came to his feelings towards me. Of course it would be hard for him to hear it when I tried to hint that I felt the same. I needed to be more direct. Words were failing me.

Slowly, I lifted my hand up to his face. He leaned down towards me slightly, so that I could reach him. He still looked confused, his eyes searching my face for an answer. I traced my fingers along his cheekbone, trailing down to his jaw and then reaching around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to me, inch by inch. My other arm rested on his shoulder lightly. I could feel the blush rushing to my face as I lifted my eyes to meet his, trying to convey what I felt without words. Jacob looked confused a moment longer before realization dawned on him.

"Bella." His voice was almost a whisper. I saw so much emotion pass through each of his features. He let me pull him closer. So close our lips were only a few inches apart. All I would have to do was lean in, ever so slightly, and he would be mine. My heart craved it. My entire being longed to feel him against me. Finally.

I took one more deep breath, making myself brave, just for a moment. I lifted on my toes, closing the final gap between us. Our lips seemed to melt together, into a soft embrace. Warm. Comforting. Perfect. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into him. My pulse was pounding in my ears. All I could think about was how right this moment felt. Jake deepened the kiss, ever so slightly, and all my senses came alive. My hands found his face, pulling him into me before winding themselves into his hair. I could feel myself being lifted, pulled into the warmth of his hard chest. Jacob had one arm wrapped around me, the other reached up to my cheek, before it ended in the same position as mine on him, wound into my dark hair. The need was evident. How had I missed it for so long?

I pulled away, just for a moment to get some air. He seemed just as breathless as I was. His forehead rested against mine, though he never released me from his arms. I could feel the pure elation coming off of him, and it matched my own. Jacob started to laugh, and I pulled my face away slightly so that I could better see his face. The smile he gave me was blinding.

"Bella. Oh, god. Finally! I would've waited forever, but still.. I could only hope you'd start to feel something eventually. God, I'm so happy right now." He crushed my face to his chest, laughing lightly. I joined him. We stayed like that, laughing, holding each other, for what seemed like forever, though must have only been a few moments. When he finally set me back on my feet I felt dizzy. Elated. Awestruck.

He seemed to sense my unsteadiness and led me to a fallen tree, just a few feet off the path. I sat down on the wet trunk and he joined me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he leaned down towards me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He looked puzzled again. I hadn't realized that my eyes had filled with tears. I had built this up so much in my head. It amazed me that it had been so effortless. So right. I shook my head.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm happy. For the first time in god know's how long. I'm happy. Because of you." I smiled up at him, and he returned it instantly. His huge hands framed my face, wiping the tears I didn't realize had fallen. He leaned closer, his eyes asking me permission, and I nodded, granting it to him. His lips met mine again and my heart soared. He pulled away slightly, peppering my face with kisses, his lips soothing away any evidence of my tears, before returning to deepen the kiss again. It was everything. Nothing like any kiss I'd ever known. How had I fooled myself for so long, to think that anything else could come close to the heaven I felt right now?

He pulled me closer to him, tucking me into his chest, his arms wrapped around my torso. I leaned in, my head resting against his shoulder a moment before I pulled away far enough that I could look at his face again.

"Jake, I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to say so, but I do. And I think I always have." I blushed again, but I didn't care. It was out there now. I needed him to hear it. He just smiled sweetly in return.

"I know. I just wanted you to get there in your own timing. I love you, too." He leaned in a kissed my forehead, a sweet and simple gesture. My heart thudded loudly in my chest. I wondered if it would burst.

Just then rain started to pour down on us, surprising us both. It was much heavier than the light drops that had fallen when we started this journey. Jacob jumped up from his resting place on the log, taking my hand as he started back on the path to his house. He pulled me along behind him, keeping me from tripping several times before we reached the edge of his yard. By the time we made it to the porch the downpour was torrential. We were both soaked to the bone, and I could no longer see my truck in the driveway, though I couldn't be more than 15 feet from it. He pulled me inside, and the warmth was welcoming compared to the frenzy of wetness outside.

I laughed as Jake shook his head, water dripping every which way. I did the same, too engulfed in happiness to be self conscious about my soaking hair and clothes, or my squeaky shoes against the hardwood floor.

"I'll go get us some dry clothes. Be right back." He beamed at me, leaning over to kiss my cheek before heading down the hallway to his room. The gesture was so natural. So pure. My stomach flipped again and I couldn't help the smile that stayed plastered to my face. He returned shortly, wearing a new pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt. He handed me a wad of clothes then, laughing at my incredulous look.

"Jake, I don't think any of your clothes are going to fit me.."

"These should. Rebecca left them last time she came to visit. I think you guys are about the same size. You can change in my room."

I took the clothes from him then, making my way down the small hallway that led to his room. Quickly, I peeled myself out of my soaking jeans and shirt, wishing I had some dry underthings as well. The jeans fit me well, though I had to roll them up a tad on the bottom, or else risk tripping on them all day. I pulled on the dark blue v-neck, thankful for the soft, warm cotton against my chilled skin. He was right. They fit great.

I started to gather up my wet clothes from his floor, glancing around his room in the process. I had never been in here before, and I was curious. To the left of me there was a full size mattress and frame, covered in plain grey sheets, rumpled from the last time Jake slept in them. A dresser and mirror was to my right, the top of it covered in papers and some discarded clothes. A single picture was tucked into the mirror. I examined it closer. Jake, his sisters, Billy, and his mother smiled back at me. It was obviously old and weathered. I smiled as I noticed an adolescent Jake smiling back at me, the same goofy grin he always held when he was happy. It looked as though he got that from his mother. The resemblance was subtle, her features being noticeably more feminine, but it was there. Just then, a soft knock echoed from the doorway, and I called to let Jake know I was decent.

"Spying on me, eh?" Jake teased, walking closer to me and noticing the picture I had been eyeing.

"I'd never been in here before. I was curious." I winked up at him, and he beamed back, wrapping one of his long arms around my shoulder.

"You were right, the clothes fit great. Thanks." He laughed as he noticed the rolled up edge on the bottoms of the jeans, though he nodded in response. He held my gaze for a quiet moment, and the intensity there made me shiver.

"Hey, you're freezing. C'mere." Jake rubbed his hands along my arms for friction before pulling me closer. I just let him pull me in, reveling in his embrace. He smelled like clean laundry and a hint of earth. It was comforting and familiar. I smiled against his chest and shivered lightly again, though he had already begun to warm me back up from the rain. I pulled away after a moment, just enough to look up at his face. I noticed the bags under his red rimmed eyes and felt guilty again. He was still exhausted.

"Jake, you should get some rest. You still look dog tired." He raised his eyebrows and I laughed, realizing the sentiment fit more than I intended. He just shook his head and smiled.

"I don't want to sleep when you're here." He balked, though I could tell he really was beat.

"C'mon. You sleep all the time when I'm here. You need it." I took his hand and pulled him towards the bed, intending to tuck him in and retire to the living room to let him have some peace. I knew Sam would have him out on patrols again soon, and I didn't want his judgement or abilities to be clouded by exhaustion.

He let me lead him to the mattress and sat down, though he pulled me into his chest before I could head towards the door.

"Fine. But would you stay with me?" He looked pleadingly up at me, and sensing my hesitation, he asked again. "Please?" His warm hand cradled my face, his thumb tracing a pattern from my cheek down to my jaw. I tried to ignore the flips in my stomach as electricity pulsed from his touch.

"Alright. But you have to sleep. I mean it." I gave him a stern look, though he just laughed and held his arms up in defeat. He rolled over to the far side of the mattress, making room for me to follow behind him. My heart thumped in my chest as I slowly climbed in and followed him. He tucked me into his arms and I felt his lips brush my hair as he relaxed beside me. I hadn't noticed how cold I really was until I could feel the heat emanating from his feverish body. It felt nice. We stayed like that for a while, holding each other in the silence, before I felt his breathing even out and his entire body relax around me. I glanced up to see his eyes closed, every feature relaxed in his slumber.

"I love you, Jake." I whispered into the silence one more time before I closed my eyes with him, relaxing into his embrace. I felt his arms tighten an infinite amount, and I wondered if he had heard me. The sound of his steady breathing and the rain pouring outside lulled me into my own quiet sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I am SO sorry it took me this long to post another chapter. I had major writers block. I also have two very young kiddos. The sleep deprivation is real, ya'll. Anyway, I couldn't remember if Bella had shared all the information about the Cullens to the pack and why Victoria was after her at this point in the story, and I decided to write up this scene anyway. Please forgive me if my timeline is off, which I'm sure it is. I am currently working on the next chapter that I'm thinking will be done tonight. I hope you guys like this. I kind of plowed through it so let me know what you think, please!

The week went by slowly. I spent most of my time in La Push at the request of Sam and the others in the pack. They felt it would be easier to track Victoria if they were on their turf. I didn't argue, I wanted to be closer to Jacob. I didn't take into account that me being there would only increase the patrols Sam ordered and leave little time for any social calls I might have had in mind. Not wanting to spend long hours in the awkward silences of Billy Black's home, I spent a lot of time walking up and down the shoreline of the beach, trying to process the events that had lead me to the moment I was hiding from an angry vampire, with only a pack of adolescent werewolves to rescue me. It was quite a strange predicament to be in.

Aside from the plot of a horror movie I seemed to be living at the moment, I still needed to tell Jake about the hallucinations I'd had the past few months. I cringed at the thought. I wanted to be completely honest with him, but I had absolutely no idea how he would react to the fact that I had essentially used him to goad my subconscious into such a stupor that I heard the voice of someone he considered to be his mortal enemy. I hadn't gotten up the guts to bring it up yet. So I paced.

Up and down the beach, for hours at a time. Sometimes I stopped to distract myself with the tide pools or counting pebbles in the sand, but mostly I just paced. It might have been comforting, if I wasn't so caught up in my own head about things.

"You alright? You look like you need a shrink or something.." I jumped as a deep familiar voice boomed from behind me. I turned to see Jared, one of the other pack members, standing a few feet away from the driftwood log I had been pacing in front of the last few minutes. Or hours. I wasn't sure which. It still amazed me that these giant boys could be so incredibly silent and graceful when I couldn't even walk across a relatively flat surface soundly.

I looked up at him, quickly shaking my head as I shrugged my shoulders. I'm sure I didn't look that convincing, but he didn't pry further. "Everyone's meeting over at Emily's for lunch. I'm supposed to bring you with me." Jared still eyed me warily, though I tried to give him a reasurring smile and gestured to him to lead the way.

It didn't take us long to reach the small white house on the edge of town, even driving my old truck. The house was a bit run down, but it was full of homey touches like daisies growing in the flower beds in front of the small porch, and a few quaint windchimes hung along the upper railings there. It looked like a place full of warmth and family. For a moment I was jealous.

Inside the tiny house seemed even smaller as it was filled to the brim with half a dozen russet skinned giants, though most of them weren't even grown men. The kitchen smelled heavenly, with the scent of roasting chicken and faint hints of blueberries and bread. A small women stood in front of the stove, tending to the feast being prepared. I assumed that would be Emily, Sam's wife. Jared had explained in the car about the accident between her and Sam, and asked that I not gawk at the scars covering the right half of her face and torso. I shivered, remembering his warning about Sam's temper regarding other's mistreatment of Emily over the years.

When she turned around, her smile emanated pure sunshine. She welcomed me brightly into her home and scolded the other boys to make room at the table and save me some food while there was still some to be had. Her personality made it hard to even notice the deep scars that marred her face and hands, though they were there. Seeing the way Sam embraced her so tenderly made it hard to think of pitying her. She seemed blissful.

I glanced around the room as I made my way to the small table on the far side of the kitchen. After a moment I noticed Jake standing against the wall across from me. Paul, Sam, and Jared blocked his path, so for the moment he just smiled warmly at me and winked. My heart skipped a beat and I stumbled softly before reaching my chair, much to the delight of those around me. I ducked my head and covered part of my face with my hair, hiding my blush as I reached for a blueberry muffin.

The room was filled with booming laughter and coversation all around, though Jake and I were quiet, studying each other. Every now and then our eyes would meet and I would blush again, much to my chagrin. It had been days since I'd seen him, though it felt like longer. With Victoria trying to break their barriers, the pack had been in overdrive trying to close in on her. Every single person in the room looked exhausted, though none were complaining at the moment as they began to shovel food into their mouths, mumbling thanks to Emily when Sam prompted them on their manners.

As the last of the food began to dissapear, Sam stood and called everyone to attention. I watched him quietly, noticing the way he was able to command the room full of rowdy teenagers with little effort. I was slightly in awe.

"Alright, everyone. I know you're all just as frustrated as me, but we've got to keep up the rigorous patrols. That leech is just waiting for us to take any misstep, and we're not gonna give her the chance she's waiting for." Mutters and groans filled the room, though most nodded in agreement. "That being said, we're getting nowhere with this game of cat and mouse. We need some kind of lead on her." Sam turned pointedly towards me and I looked up in surprise as he began to address me. "That's why I invited you tonight, Bella. I know at one point you were..close.. with the Cullens." He spat their name out as if it was a dirty word and I winced. "Is there anything you can tell us about them that would help? Anything at all?"

I paled for a moment as all eyes turned to me expectantly. The room was silent, waiting for my response. I found Jake's face and he shared the same curious look as the rest of the room. I gulped loudly before I tried to speak. "I can tell you that the vampire searching for me, Victoria.. She's relentless. See..She's after me because the Cullen's killed her mate last year when he was hunting me."

Sam's eyebrows rose as he took in this new information. Everyone was silent except Jake, who groaned in frustration from across the room. "Bella..last year, when you got hurt..Are you telling me.." His voice trailed off and I nodded silently as he cursed. His fists balled up at his sides and his body started to quiver infinitesimally. I had nearly died last year in Phoenix after James had set his sights on me. Edward's strong reaction to guard me only fueled his hunting instincts.

I shrugged again, continuing. "After they killed James, I thought she would be gone, but I guess not. She's furious." I swallowed, steeling myself for the next part. "She thinks I'm with Edward, that's why she's coming for me. A mate for a mate."

Voices murmured, filling the room until Sam had to call them to be quiet again. Even he looked awestruck. I didn't dare look at Jacob, though I could feel him fuming from across the room.

"Alright, well at least now we know the motive behind her persistence. Is there anything else you could give us that might help?" His eyes didn't quite meet mine as he spoke.

"Well, I don't know about her specifically, but I know some of the Cullen's possessed certain..gifts." I grew even paler if that was possible. Why did it feel like I was betraying the Cullens by having this conversation? I steeled myself. Regardless of the fact that I was sharing secrets that weren't mine to give away, I had to protect Jacob. If anything I shared with them would help, I would not be sorry.

"Great. One more advantage the filthy bloodsuckers have over humans. As if they need another leg up." Paul rolled his eyes, huffing out a frustrating sigh before Sam silenced him with a look.

"Go on, Bella. What exactly do you mean?" He looked at me curiously, though his gaze was still reserved and a bit cold. I didn't blame him. I know he considered them to be his mortal enemies. It must have been hard to speak so civilly about them.

"Well, Edward for instance.. He could read minds, if they were in a close enough vicinity. I mean, except mine. I'm not sure why." I shrugged my shoulders. I had come to accept that my brain was hardwired a little bit differently than most others.

Sam looked surprised, but waited for me to continue.

"And Alice, she could see the future. But she said it was always changing, depending on the decisions of others. And her husband, Jasper, he could feel and manipulate the emotions of others around him."

I thought silently for a moment before I continued. "That's it I guess. From what I understand, not every.. vampire.. has these kind of powers. I don't know specifically about Victoria, but I don't think she can do any of those things." I wrapped my arms tightly around my chest again. Bringing all this up was tearing a painful hole open again. I hadn't let myself think about these things for months. I glanced up sheepishly at Jake, and he stood sullenly against the wall, not looking at me. I could guess that this reminder of my recent past was not so easy for him to hear either.

Sam finally met my eyes when he spoke again. The room was silent, though I didn't want to imagine the things that would be said once I was no longer in the room.

"Thanks, Bella. That helps. At least now we can figure out a plan that might be more effective."

I nodded, though I wasn't sure how much help I had really been. Sam turned to address the others and I sighed, relieved to not be the center of attention any longer.

"Alright. Everyone who just got off patrol, go get some sleep. We'll meet back here in 3 hours to come up with a more solid plan. Paul, Jared and you are with me. We're going to head out and cover the north border. That's where we tracked her last."

Everyone nodded in agreement and the room once again filled with voices, some saying goodbye, while others mulled over plans for the next few hours.

"C'mon Bella, I'll drive you home." I looked up in surprise. In my stupor I hadn't notice Jake approach. He stood over me, his hand outstretched, though his face was reserved and his gaze didn't quite meet my eyes. I took his hand as I rose and thanked Emily for lunch. Jake was still silent when we reached the truck and he deposited me into the passenger side, crossing over to get behind the wheel before I even had a chance to buckle my seatbelt.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Jake might seem a little ooc in this story, but I still think it fits him. Edward was always so proper and a bit stuffy, I couldn't see Jake being nearly that way with Bella.

I waited to see if Jacob would break the silence, and it became apparent that he wouldn't as they reached the outskirts of La Push with not a word spoken between them.

"Jake, please say something." I looked hopefully up at his face, though it was trained on the road ahead and his eyes were hard.

He shook his head before he finally spoke, his voice ragged. "Bella, can't you see how caught up you were in that little web of theirs? How much he put you in danger just so you could be his little toy?" His eyes were murderous now, and I gasped in surprise. I don't know what I expected to come out of his mouth, but it certainly wasn't that.

"And now this other bloodsucker is after you, hellbent on getting revenge on that filthy leech she thinks you're still with. God I wish I could get my hands on him." He practically spat the words out at me, and I recoiled to the passenger side of the small cab.

I wrapped my arms even tighter around my chest. Though I was no longer in love with Edward, it hurt like hell to see how right Jacob's words were. I know they also hurt him, and for that I hated myself.

"You think I don't know how messed up this all is? How wrong it was from the very beginning? Of course I see that now. I'd take it all back if I could. He screwed me up, Jake. Big time." I laughed bitterly as I recalled just how much he had messed up my head, even when he wasn't around anymore.

Jake glanced over at me and his expression lightened immediately. "Bella! I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you. It's certainly not your fault. He knew what he was doing to you, and he didn't care. He's sick." He reached his hand over to me, but I didn't take it.

"No, Jake. I'm the one that's sick. You know I continued to hear him, even after he left. After they all left." Jake look confused and I shook my head and continued.

"I realized a couple of months after he left that my brain would create these sick illusions of him whenever I would do something reckless or stupid. After a while it was like a drug to me and I started doing things on purpose just so I could hear him again." I wrapped my arms even tighter as angry tears welled up in my eyes.

"What?" Jake practically shrieked at me as the truck veered swiftly to the right, onto a gravel clearing just off the highway. He stopped abruptly and put the truck in park as he turned to face me.

"Bella, what are you saying?" His eyes searched my face in frustration and I shrugged. Might as well let it all out now.

"I mean, I could hear his voice, Jake. Clear as if he was standing beside me. Telling me to be careful. Telling me to be smart. Chastising me whenever I would do something especially reckless. I was screwed up." I glanced up at his face and his eyes were angry again.

"You mean the dirt bikes? The cliff diving? Bella, Jesus!" He groaned and grabbed the handle of the door, shoving it open and slamming it behind him suddenly. His entire body was shaking as he paced back and forth beside the truck. I'd never seen him so angry and I was almost sorry I had told him. But not quite. He needed to know just what he was getting into with me. How messed up my head actually was.

I reached for the door handle and got out, making my way over to the driver side of the truck.

"Bella, just give me a minute. I need to wrap my head around this." He reached a hand up to me, silently motioning me to stay where I was. I obeyed.

After a moment he stopped shaking, though his eyes didn't look any lighter as he glanced towards me again.

"I can't believe that bastard. He didn't even care what he was doing to you. Still doesn't." I winced slightly at his words, but I didn't disagree. It had been second nature for Edward to use every tool in his arsenal to get what he wanted, and it didn't surprise me that he found the prize unsatisfactory.

"I know that. Believe me, I do. It doesn't change the way things happened, and I just thought you should know. Everything." I took a slow step towards him, and he didn't recoil. His face lifted towards mine again and he studied my expression. I'm not sure what he found there, but it made his shoulders drop as he swiftly made his way towards me.

"Bella, I know what you're thinking, so knock it off. This isn't your fault." He reached up and shook my shoulders lightly, his eyes desperately searching my face.

I shrugged again, though he didn't let me go. "Jake, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm not blameless in all this. Part of me knew how dangerous and stupid it all was, from the very beginning. That didn't stop me. Even after he left, after I realized what was happening, I did it anyway. I used you, Jake. And I'll never forgive myself for it." I shook him off then, taking a step back and dropping my gaze to the gravel below his feet, willing myself not to cry again.

Jacob wasn't shaken off so easily though, and I felt his hands grip my chin lightly, forcing me to look up at him again. His eyes looked determined, his mouth set in a hard line against the dark planes of his face. My breath caught in my throat as I waited for him to speak.

"Bella. Stop. I mean it. I know you want to be a martyr and take all this on yourself, but I'm not going to let you. What he did to you was unforgivable, and if I could get my hands on him I'd rip him apart myself." I winced slightly at that and he pretended not to notice.

"Can't you see how much he used you? Used you until there was nothing left? He warped everything you thought you knew. You have to see that."

I looked up at him in silence for a moment before nodding. He was right, though I still felt all wrong.

"I know. I know that now. And Jake, if I had known what you would become for me, I never would have taken advantage of you the way that I did. It was selfish of me, but you were the only thing that kept my head above water for a long time. I thought I was doing what I had to in order to survive, and I didn't even care how you fit into it." I looked down again, ashamed of myself. How selfish could one person be? I felt I had tested that limit daily in the past few months.

"No, Bella. Don't think like that. No matter how screwed up this all was, it brought you to me. I'll never regret that. I'm just sorry you had to go through all that. That you still have to." He shook his head violently again and took my face in both his hands, so I couldn't pull away this time. His embrace warmed me slightly, and I leaned into him.

"I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to find Victoria and I'm going to crush her soul less little body until there's nothing but dust left. And you will never have to think about this shit again." He spat the words out coldly, those his eyes were warm as they gazed down at me.

My eyes brimmed with unshed tears again as I looked up at him. He was everything. And he would risk everything to keep me safe. I pushed the thought from my mind and he pulled me into his chest. I hadn't realized that I had been shaking, and his hands rubbed circles across my back as he tried to soothe me.

"Oh Jake. I love you so much." The tears began to flow now, and I tucked my face into his arm to hide them, though I doubt I fooled him.

"I love you too, baby. I'm not going to let him hurt you ever again. I swear." He pulled my face up to his and kissed me softly as his fingers wiped away the tears that had begun to fall. He held me for a long moment, just letting me be, knowing somehow that I needed to feel everything in that instant, and I was thankful to him for that.

He drove me home shortly after, though the silence this time was soothing as he kept one arm wrapped around me while he navigated back toward Forks.

"Bella, honey, I have to go back for a bit. Sam wants my help planning some things and I have to help on patrol. But I'd like to come back later, if that's alright. I need to see you. It's been a hell of a week."

I nodded in agreement, though I hated to let him go.

"I'd like that. Charlie goes to bed early on nights when he works the morning shift, though."

"I know. I was hoping I could just come up to your room, if that's alright. I'm not trying to be forward, it just seems the only way I'll ever get to see you, with the way things have been lately."

He smiled softly down at me and I tried not to melt. I looked down as my cheeks began to blush, though I agreed.

"You're right. Just text me when you're here and I can try and sneak down and unlock the door."

Jake grinned down at her. "No need, just leave your window open for me."

I nearly jumped in surprise at the statement, though I guess with Jake's new werewolf abilities he would have no trouble with my second story window. I smiled up at him and lifted a quick kiss to his cheek as I tried not to think about the last visitor I had welcomed through that open window not long ago.

Jake didn't notice my hesitance as he trailed off into the woods behind the house.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Alright, there's going to be more angst, because I feel there there was a lot Bella and Jacob needed to talk about after the initial "I love you" realization. And it's my 3rd chapter of the night because I can't help it, the words are flowing, and who am I to stop them?

I paced quietly back and forth in my room, glancing at the clock frequently to check the time. It was just past 10 o'clock. Charlie had gone to bed about an hour ago, though he seemed suspicious of my jumpiness. I couldn't help it. The thought of Jake coming through the same window I used to welcome Edward through not too long ago unnerved me.

Would he guess he wasn't the first one in here? Should I tell him? I argued with myself back and forth until my thoughts were all jumbled. I wanted my relationship with Jacob to be honest, even if that was to a fault. He deserved to know everything from the very beginning. I had always kept everything bottled inside with Edward, and that had turned out disastrously. It had to be better with Jake. I would make sure of that.

I decided to shower and dress for bed, hoping that would calm my nerves a bit. The stream of the hot water did help, but not much. I dressed in a worn and comfortable pair of gray leggings and an oversized green knit sweater that hung slightly off my shoulder. I really wished I had taken Renee up on her offer to send me some new clothes, though my old ragged duds would have to do.

With nothing else to do but wait, I decided to crawl into bed with a book, tired of the pacing I had done off and on for the last hour. Turning the overhead light off, I crossed the room and raised the window slightly. The dim light of the lamp on my nightstand glowed, though I only saw my reflection in the glass panes. I dug out an old and weathered novel from my stack on my nightstand and snuggled into my blankets, ready to take my mind off the waiting.

I must have dozed off, because I awoke sharply to a scratching sound against my window, startling me out of my dreamless sleep. I jumped out of bed with a start, just in time to see a dark figure shift outside the window and the pane slide up as Jake stepped inside. I placed my hand on my chest, trying to calm my racing heart as I assured myself it was only my Jacob coming to visit, just as he said he would.

A quick glance at my clock showed it was after midnight already. Jake saw me notice the time and glanced my way sheepishly. "Sorry, I tried to get here earlier. Some of the others slept in and we had to run a longer patrol." He smiled down at me as he silently glided across the hardwood to embrace me. There was no way I could be upset with him when he looked at me the way he did just now.

"It's alright. I must have fallen asleep. You startled me."

He laughed softly as he lifted my chin towards his face, laying a soft kiss along my jawline before he made his way to my lips. I leaned into him, reveling in the warmth of his chest, though I shivered as his lips trailed across my face.

He released me briefly, and I took a moment to look back up at him.

"Any news?"

He shook his head in frustration as he sat down on the edge of my bed. I didn't figure there would be any. He wouldn't be here if there was. But I had to ask all the same.

"No. She's teasing us. No matter what we do she's always one step ahead." His hands balled into hard fists beside him and I sat down next to him, reaching for them with my own hands.

"I'm sorry. I know this is frustrating. We'll figure something out." Jake looked down at me dubiously.

"You're not going to have any part of this, if I have anything to say about it." His eyes flashed in anger but it didn't seem directed at me.

"Jake? What do you mean? I am a part of this."

He stood abruptly, pacing silently in front of me as I looked on. Sam had said earlier they would have a planning session to take into account the new information I had shared with them earlier today. I wondered now if that didn't have something to do with his sudden hostile reaction.

"Jake. What happened today when Sam called that meeting?" I stood, blocking his path and he glanced up at me sourly.

"Nothing. It's none of your concern." His eyes steeled towards me, and I took the few steps forward to wrap my arms around his torso, my hands tracing circles along his back as he tried his best not to look at me. His arms stayed firmly planted at his side for a moment before he took me into his arms, his fingers wrapping into my hair as he buried his face into my neck.

"Jake! Tell me what's going on!" I tried to keep my voice quiet so as not to wake Charlie, though it was difficult. I did not like the way Jacob had reacted, holding me tightly against him so I couldn't see his face.

Finally, he took a step back and led me to the bed again, motioning for me to take a seat beside him.

"I guess I might as well tell you, you'll find out anyway. Sam wants to use you to get to Victoria. Like you're some kind of bait. Friggan vampire bait." His words were cold and hard, though he pulled me closer to him as he spoke.

"Okay. I'll do it." I nodded, giving myself only seconds to react after he finished speaking. Jacob gasped and looked down at me as if my hair was on fire.

"Are you crazy? Of course you won't! I forbid it!" He stood again, his hands running through his short black hair, his eyes nearly crazed as he glared down at me.

"Jake, can't you see! I have to! It's the only way you'll even be able to get close to her. She knows your patterns. She knows how you work. She's not going to just let you catch her. She's waiting for a weakness, and I can be that. At least the appearance of one." I looked up at him, fiercely willing him to understand. Sam was right. I wish I had thought of it sooner. If I could do this.. If I could do my part in destroying the vampire so intent on my demise, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Jake shook his head again, crossing his arms over his chest as he began to pace again.

"Jake, wether you like it or not, you know I'm right. You and the pack would be on her before she even touched me. You can't deny that."

He didn't look down at me again as he spoke.

"No. I won't put you in harms way, Bella. It drives me crazy enough just to be apart from you. I guarantee you Sam wouldn't be saying the same things if Emily was the one that leech was after." He glared at the floor beneath him, stopping in front of me.

"Jake-"

"I said no, Bella. Drop it." His gaze was furious, and I didn't like the look I saw cross the hard planes of his face just then. He didn't look like my Jacob at all. There was a hard edge to him, though there was also something vulnerable there, just beneath the surface. I decided not to push him further for the time being, though I wasn't going to let this go completely.

I reached my hand up towards him, and he took it after a moment, letting me pull him down beside me. I could feel his body shaking now, and I did my best to calm him as I silently wrapped my arms around his middle. He sighed loudly and finally relaxed, content that I wasn't going to fight him on it anymore tonight. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder. I had missed him fiercely over the last few days, and I felt like all we had done since we'd seen each other was argue.

"I'm sorry. I just love you too much. I can't help it." He spoke softly, his fingers stroking my hair before he lifted my face towards his to meet his lips in a warm kiss.

"I love you, too. Come lay with me. You must be exhausted." I climbed up to the front of the bed, lying against my pillow there as I scooted over to make room for him. He followed behind me, pulling me close against his chest. He kissed the top of my head lightly and a moment later I felt his body relax as I felt the even movements of his chest. He was asleep.

I drifted behind him not long after. My dreams were a mix of ice and fire, both clashing against my skin. One familiar, yet all wrong. The other an unexplored territory, though not unpleasant in the least. The meaning behind it all was on the edge of my subconscious, though it escaped me as I lie there curled up next to Jake. I awoke to the touch of his fingers tracing the lines of my face, reverently memorizing each soft plane with his light hands. He was kissing me. My hair. My neck. My cheeks. His lips reached my eyebrow before I finally roused enough to realize he was trying to say goodbye.

"Hey. I'm sorry. I didn't want to leave without saying anything." I glanced over at the side table and the red numbers glaring back told me it was just past 4 am. Charlie would be at work by now. Jake gazed gently down at me and it was hard to think of anything under his deep brown eyes.

"I wish you didn't have to go." I felt guilty for the admission, but it was true all the same.

"I know. So do I." He pulled me closer to him, my head resting against his chest, the blanket pulled between us to cover me. The position felt familiar, though never as pleasant as it had been with Jake here now. I blushed slightly, hoping he wouldn't notice.

I had no such luck.

"Hey, what's all that about? Don't worry. I won't tell Charlie you had a boy in your room all night." He grinned down at me and I rolled my eyes, hoping he would let it go.

"Not bad though. First time someone sneaks in that window here and we didn't even get caught." I paled slightly, though smiled, trying to recover quickly. Of course he would assume he was the first. And he should have been. Edward had mesmerized me. I felt I was almost hypnotized into it when I thought of the way he used to let himself into my room so many nights in the past, many times never even asking my permission.

He noticed my expression immediately and I could almost see him connecting the dots in his head.

"Are you kidding? Don't tell me he's been up here too." His face turned sour as he gazed down at me and his hands stopped the lazy menstrations they had been drawing across my arms.

I decided just to be honest with him. He deserved it.

"I'm sorry, Jake." He froze at my words, and began to pull away from me. I tried to stop him, but he sat up and moved away as he looked down at my face. The look in his eyes was indecipherable.

"He used to let himself in here. For weeks I didn't even know he was doing it. He would wait until I was asleep." I looked up at him sheepishly and his eyes filled with anger. I continued, not wanting to give him the chance to speak before I could get it out.

"After we started dating.." The word seemed wrong but I couldn't think of another to put in its place. "It became more frequent. Jake you know how he treated me. It's like I was powerless to tell him no about anything. I just sort of went along with it I guess. It's not like that with you! I promise!"

He looked down at me in disgust and it broke my heart.

"Are you telling me you two were together?" He enunciated the last word and practically spit them out at me.

"Jesus. Jake, no! Of course not! I mean it. He could barely even lie next to me because he couldn't stand the smell of my blood. At least that's what he told me." I looked up into his eyes, fervently trying to make him understand me.

"Jake, there's some things you need to know.. about mine and Edward's..relationship. I only use that word because there's not a better one to describe it. I was like a moth to a flame with him. Everything about him was designed to hypnotize me, to draw me in. He knew that, and he used it to his advantage. I couldn't see it at the time, but I do now. He played this little cat and mouse game and that's all it was to him. We were never..physical.. in that way. Hell he could barely stand to kiss me. The whole thing was demented. Please. You have to understand."

I grabbed his hands and clasped them together against my chest, he resisted me slightly, but he let me hold him there as I continued.

"Edward didn't love me. He was obsessed. We both were. With some sick delusion. How I feel about you is worlds away from anything that was ever between him and I. Please believe me." Tears sprang into my eyes as panic filled me. How could Jacob believe me? Hadn't I betrayed him, letting him hold me like that under the pretense that no one else ever had? I had to force myself to look up at him again as I waited for his response, sure he would walk out the door without another word any second now.

His eyes had softened towards me and he brought his hand up to wipe the tears from my cheeks. He didn't speak for a long moment, just stared down into my eyes, silently taking in everything I had just told him. A sob I didn't realize I was holding in escaped as he leaned down to press his lips to mine. He was tender at first, slowly lulling me into comfort as he pulled me closer to him. His arms reached around me, wrapping around my back as he pulled me into his lap, his lips tracing soft kisses from my jawline to my ear and back down my neck.

After a moment, his touch turned from the gentle warmth it was before to an intense fire. He maneuvered me beneath him on top of the blankets as he crushed his lips to mine. His fingers knotted into my hair and he pulled me impossibly closer than I had been before. I couldn't help it, and my reaction was similar. The small flame that had always burned between us with his touch raged into a wildfire, claiming every inch of me. His hands were everywhere, digging into my skin, caressing me, making it impossible to think of anything but the trail of burning flesh he left in his wake. I gasped as he pulled away, his lips hovering just above my own.

"You are mine."

Jacob kissed me again, fervently, though impossibly slow at the same time. He stood up then, gazing down at me with a heat that made my whole body blush. He turned and walked away then, sliding out the window and leaving me in a complete puddle, wrapped up in the sheets that were still burning with his touch.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days passed and Jacob still refused to speak to me about the possibility of me helping with the fight with Victoria. He was positively livid anytime I would try to bring it up, which left me with no choice. I pulled my truck into the drive next to the small white house with daisies in the front and made my way up to the porch, knocking lightly.

Emily's voice called to me from the kitchen, inviting me inside. The empty room was a stark contrast to the last time I had been here, just a few days before. Despite the lack of bodies, pure warmth radiated from every crevice in the tiny room, no doubt Emily's touch to thank for that.

"Hey, Bella. Sam should be here any minute. Feel free to take a seat anywhere. There's some cookies on the table if you like." She smiled back at me as I made my way to the kitchen table and reached for one of the chocolate chip cookies she had left there.

"Thanks. Sorry for the short notice. Jacob would have never let me out of his sight if he had realized what I meant to do today."

Emily smiled up at me knowingly. Sam spoke freely with her about everything that had to do with the pack, so she had to realize why I had come.

"Of course. It's no trouble at all. I appreciate the company actually. I don't get many visitors besides the wolf boys." She winked at me and I laughed softly. Having a husband that was the alpha of a pack of werewolves would make social calls a bit difficult.

Just then the door to the kitchen swung open and Sam walked through. His eyes were only for Emily and he didn't notice me at first. They embraced for several long seconds before she nodded in my direction, encouraging him to join me. He only looked confused for a moment before realization dawned in his eyes.

"Bella." He nodded slightly at me as he sat at the table. Emily placed a plate of food in front of him, though he didn't touch it for the time being.

"Sam. Sorry to show up unexpectedly. I'm sure you realize why I had to do it this way, though."

He nodded again and his eyes studied my face silently. I would have been intimidated if I wasn't so determined for this meeting.

"Right. Uh.. I want to help, with Victoria. Jake refuses to even listen to me, but I know you had talked about.. using me..before." I looked up at him solemnly, and he waited for me to continue.

"I think you're right. I think the best way to get to her is through me."

"Bella, you have to know what you're agreeing to. I can't guarantee your safety completely. The pack and I will do everything possible of course, but you'd be deliberately putting yourself in harm's way."

I nodded at him as I continued.

"I know that. But I also know this is something I have to do."

His eyes studied my face and I thought I saw a look of respect cross his features before he spoke again.

"Alright then. Jake won't be happy about this, though."

Just then the door to the kitchen slammed open, nearly flying off the hinges as Jacob's huge form filled the doorway. I jumped, startled by the noise as he made his way swiftly across the room.

"You're damn right I won't. This is not happening." His eyes were filled with fury as his strong fist slammed against the delicate table we sat at. He was practically seething.

Sam did not seem surprised at Jake's reaction when he spoke again.

"It's not your decision to make. It's already done."

The anger rolled off of Jake in waves, then, and I could see his body begin to tremble.

"The hell it's not. She doesn't know what she's saying! I'm not going to let you do this!"

"Jake, I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. And this is how it has to be." I stood then, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly as I tried to match his determination. The effect was not as great as I had hoped.

Jacob's eyes were filled with fire as he looked at me for the first time since he arrived. He began to cross the short distance between us, but Sam stood and stopped him with a simple look before he could reach me.

"Enough. It has been decided. She will help us in the fight with Victoria." The last statement sounded more like an order, and I saw Jake's body visibly shake as his fists balled at his sides and he glared back at Sam.

"Bella. Let's go." His voice was strangled as he looked at me over Sam's shoulder. I hated the turmoil I saw there in his eyes, but I knew I was making the right decision. I would do anything to end this fight and help the wolves I now thought of as friends.

Sam sat down again, and left the space open between Jacob and I. It felt like a wide cavern had opened between us, though we were only separated by a few feet of hardwood. His gaze didn't reach my eyes as he stood there a few seconds longer, and I watched for a moment as he turned and headed for the door before I followed.

He didn't stop as he made his way to my truck, though I know he could hear me trying to catch up behind him. Instead of his usual act of opening the door for me, he went immediately to the driver side of the truck and started up the engine, glaring at the dash as he waited.

I pulled myself into the cab solemnly, and the truck was filled with the deafening roar of the engine as Jake pulled it swiftly onto the pavement. The silence was intense, and I couldn't bring myself to look his way for a long moment.

"Jake.. please.. you have to understand. You have to realize that this is the right thing." His eyes hardened again as he gripped the steering wheel tighter at the sound of my voice.

"No, Bella. It's not, and I don't." He didn't look at me as he drove, my truck groaning at the strength of his foot pressing down on the gas even harder.

Tears welled up in my eyes as he moved his hand away when I reached for him. He was furious. He had a right to be, but that didn't change how much it hurt to see him this way.

He drove in silence, never looking my direction. His eyes were hard, steel orbs of darkness as he glared at the road ahead. We reached my driveway before I realized how much time had already passed. I caught a glimpse of myself in the window as I stared at the empty house to my right. My cheeks were red, streaked with tears I didn't realize had fallen. I used the back of my fists to wipe them away, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Jacob. I felt him turn towards me, and slowly, he pulled my hands into his before he started to speak.

"Bella..God..Don't you realize how much I love you? How hard it is to think of you being anywhere near her when we finally catch up to that leech? It physically hurts me to think of any possibility where you might be in danger." His eyes softened as I turned my face to him. He looked pained as he spoke. I hated to see him that way. Hated that I was the cause of it.

"Jake, I know it's not what you want to hear, but I'm in danger every second she's still out there. This might be the only way to reach her."

He shook his head then, though he didn't move away from me. He drew a deep breath in a closed his eyes, squeezing my fingers in his own.

He didn't argue with me, though I could see how much he hated not to do so. His eyes filled with everything unsaid between us and I drew myself closer to him, unable to stand the distance between us any longer.

"Oh Jake.." Fresh tears spilled over onto my cheeks as he pulled me into his arms, his hand cradling my head against his broad chest. I felt his own body trembling against me, and I lifted my face to see his eyes were wet with tears of his own. God I hated what I was doing to him, though I knew in my heart it was how it had to be.

We sat like that for a long moment, just holding each other, each of us saying everything we could without ever speaking a word. Finally, he leaned down and kissed me. It was heartbreakingly soft, like he held glass in his rough hands, instead of just my face.

"I love you. I'll be back tonight, as soon as I can get away." He held me to his chest for a few more seconds before he released me and made a move to reach behind me and push open my door.

"I love you, too. I'll be waiting." I placed another kiss on his cheek before I turned and stepped out. He smiled briefly at me, though it wasn't the easy gesture that I had come to be familiar with in the past. My heart ached as I watched him walk slowly away from me, towards the dark treeline that waited in the distance.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I know its been a long time since I've updated, I've just gotten bit with the writing bug again. Also, receiving some recent reviews on this inspired me. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! It kind of led me on a wild goose chase into a territory I didn't think this story would go. Let me know what you think! Also, some adult language used. Just a warning.

Time seemed to drag on as the evening approached. I distracted myself as best I could with some light reading, even turning on the television to some mindless drama when the former failed to help my spinning thoughts. Charlie seemed surprised to find me on the couch when he returned from his shift.

"Hey, Bells. Anything good on?" He glanced sideways at me as he approached the worn couch. I shrugged and reached to hand him the remote, tucking my legs against my chest as I made room for him beside me.

"Not really, just passing the time."

Charlie flipped channels until he found the drone of an announcer giving a play by play of an athlete he seemed particularly impressed with. He watched, enamored for a moment before remembering my presence and returning his gaze back to me.

"Hey kiddo, you talked to Angela or Jessica lately? It's summer. You should be out with friends. You can't spend all your time in La Push, you know." His eyes seemed concerned as he took in my reddened eyes and my pajamas that I had thrown on earlier in the day.

"Angela is visiting her Aunt in Michigan all summer, and I'm pretty sure Jess isn't speaking to me." The latter was true, though I wasn't sure Angela hadn't returned already from her annual summer trip. School would be starting soon, as much as I tried not to think about it. Of course, involving them in the war between wolves and vampires was the last thing on my summer bucket list, as it stood.

Charlie seemed unsatisfied with my answer, but he let it go for now, returning to the announcer on the screen. I pushed myself off the couch and began to rifle in the fridge for a quick dinner. I really didn't have the motivation or energy to pull together a meal for us tonight, so I settled on sandwiches. I knew Charlie wouldn't mind.

"You okay, kid?" I could feel his concern as I brought his food to the living room. The last thing I needed was Charlie suddenly getting all observant and concerned. My supernatural struggles needed to stay under the radar where my father was concerned.

"I'm fine, just tired. Maybe I'm coming down with something. I think I'll head to bed." I rubbed my eyes for good measure and retreated towards the stairs.

"Alright. Call if you need anything."

He let it go easily enough and I quickly shuffled the rest of the way up the staircase. I stopped in the bathroom to wash my face. I really was tired, and the dark circles under my eyes seemed to affirm how exhausted I really was. Shrugging to myself, I decided an early night was probably a good idea after all. I left the window cracked a bit, as usual, and snuggled onto my mattress, which gave way to an easy slumber.

I awoke in the darkness to a chill drifting through my small bedroom; glancing to the window to find it still open, though no sign of Jake. As I was about to return to my pillow, a shuffled movement caught my eye across the room. I nearly screamed as the pale marble creature came into focus. The figure anticipated my reaction and rushed to my side, its movements too fast for my eyes to follow.

I sat frozen as fingers like ice grazed my neck, then moved to my face. I couldn't speak, my brain still trying to catch up with the last 30 seconds. A sweet scent permeated the room, overpowering. It made my almost drowsy, though my heart felt like it wanted to beat out of my chest.

"Oh, Bella. Sweet Bella." An ethereal voice filled the space between the pale figure and myself. I tried to lean away but the iron grip pulled me closer.

"Edward?! What the hell!" He seemed shocked by my words, though his grip on my face remained. I tried to pull away again, and this time he let me.

"I'm sorry. I told you I wouldn't return. I just couldn't take it anymore." His eyes traced over me and my heart quickened again, an old habit I suspect. He smiled at that.

"Wha.. Why are you here?" I backed away from him, moving towards the head of my bed. A longing in the back of my subconscious flashed in my eyes before anger replaced it.

He moved toward me slowly, watching me with those golden honey eyes of his. My brain felt like mush. My fingers betrayed me and they twitched as I pushed down the longing to trace the deep circles that lined his eyes. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Oh Bella, I just couldn't stand to be away any longer. I would have been here sooner if not for this stubborn head of mine." He smiled gently and moved towards me, hovering over me as I backed into the wall behind me. An electric buzz seemed to surround me, sending my head spinning, making my thoughts heavy and slow. He lowered his face, slowly, his scent enveloping me, dulling my senses. I closed my eyes for a moment before realization hit me.

"Stop! Ugh. Get away from me." I pushed against his chest, the marble icy planes almost burning my fingers. Edward seemed confused for a moment, though he didn't budge. He watched me a moment longer before his expression changed to one of recognition.

"Ah, I see. I should have expected as much." He quickly pulled away from me, and I noticed another figure standing in the darkness. If my heartbeat was erratic before, it felt like it wanted to beat out of my chest and take off running now.

"Jake!" My voice trembled as I tried to be mindful of the fact that my father was sleeping in the next room. An all-out war was about to break out in my bedroom and I could almost feel the tension buzzing around me, filling all the empty spaces between all three of us.

"Get away from her you filthy leech." Jacob practically spat the words out between gritted teeth. His eyes were locked on the vampire in front of him, and I found myself holding my breath. His body was trembling, and I knew if things didn't change fast, it wouldn't be good for anyone in this tiny space.

Edward sneered at Jacob, his mouth twisting into a snide grin that I'd never seen before. He lifted his hands, as if to admit defeat, but his eyes burned as he stared ahead at Jacob.

"Hey, don't hold back how you really feel then." Edward let out a hollow laugh, taking a step between Jacob and I. Jake let out a deep growl in response, his body tensing as he noticed Edward's position between us. Edward smiled in response to this before moving again, this time taking a step toward Jacob. The sickly sweet scent that had filled the room moments before seemed to strike a nervous energy in me now. My entire body tensed in response and I felt as if all the nerves in my body were on edge. I briefly wondered if this is how I should have felt all along in his presence.

"Ah, it seems I hear my brother calling. Another time then." Edward started for the window, pausing just for a moment to look back at me once more.

"Goodnight, sweet Bella." His eyes twinkled again for a moment before he was out the window, faster than my eyes could comprehend. I sat dumbstruck for a moment before coming to my senses. Without thinking, I rushed over to Jake and wrapped my arms around him. He shuddered violently and I took a step back and looked up at him. He was absolutely seething.

"I'm gonna kill him. How dare he come here. How dare he touch you!" Jake's eyes were closed and I could see him visibly shaking as I took a step back. He made a move to head towards the window but against my better judgement, I planted myself in front of his towering frame.

"Stop. He's gone now. Stay with me." I tried to make my voice soothing and calm, but I could hear it quiver as I spoke. I was thoroughly freaked out by all of this, and the last thing I wanted was to be alone, much less worry about Jacob out there chasing after yet another vampire.

"Please Jake, don't leave me." I pled with him, even as I saw the pained expression cross his face. I could feel his entire body tense and he balled his fist, taking a deep breath before he sank onto the bed, his head in his hands.

"Fuck. What the hell is he doing back here?" I could hear Jake mumbling into his hands and realized he wasn't really speaking to me, though I responded anyway.

"Jake.. I don't.. I just woke up and he was here. He must have let himself in." My voice trailed off as I traced the icy lines his fingers had left against my skin. It was familiar, but certainly not comforting, like it had been so long ago.

"Filthy fucking leech." Jacob spat the words out before lifting his face to look at me. He saw my bewildered expression and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Well I don't know about you, but this certainly doesn't change things for me. And I will not give up without a fight." His expression hardened and he reached for my hand. It took me a moment to realize what he meant.

"What? No.. Jake, I don't love him. I don't even know what the hell he's doing here. You have to believe me, this was the last thing I wanted." I tried my best to sound convincing. It really was the last thing I wanted, or needed right now, for that matter, but Edward's presence had made everything foggy. It was hard to even think straight. I reached for Jacob, folding myself into him and breathing him in. That helped the fogginess, just a bit. My heart still raced a mile a minute though.

Jacob tightened his grip as he pulled me into his lap, laying kisses along my hairline. Slowly, my body seemed to calm itself. Being near him like this was like coming home. Warm, familiar. Everything I needed. His intense body heat and soothing touch seemed to drown out the uneasy buzz that Edward had left behind. Jacob seemed to feel it too, and I could sense him relaxing, bit by bit.

"Jake, something is.. different. I never noticed it before, but I think now that I've come out the other side, I can finally see how it affected me. I mean.. Him being here, it was intoxicating, but not in the way you think. It's like he controlled all my senses and I couldn't think straight. It was like he knew exactly what he was doing to me, and he didn't care. It's…well it's fucking creepy. Why didn't I see it before?" I spoke absently, not really talking to anyone in particular, but more like coming to this epiphany all on my own.

"You're just now realizing that? I've been trying to tell you that all along!" I could feel Jake's body tighten again, though he didn't let go of me.

"I know. It's just one thing to realize it and another to actually fucking experience it." I shook my head, burrowing myself deeper into Jacob's arms. How could I let myself be so fooled before? I briefly wondered if spending so much time with my werewolves had dulled Edward's effect on me. It was hard to know for sure.

"Well, the pack is going to flip when I tell them the Cullens are back. Ugh. It fucking complicates things, that's for sure." I could see Jake's annoyed expression and wished I could take back ever meeting the coven of vampires I had been drawn to many months ago.

"You'll have to come with me, no way I'm leaving you here alone. Not with that leech running around." Jacob stood then, gently pushing me off his lap and he began pacing the floor.

"What about Charlie? I can't just leave, Jake. School starts in a few days, too." I mentally cursed the normal day to day tasks that lie ahead of me as I thought about the supernatural war raging in the forest outside.

"Dammit. I need to talk to Sam. Just… give me a moment." A pained expression crossed Jacob's face as he took my face in his hands, laying a chaste kiss on my lips before disappearing out the window for the briefest moment. I barely had time to crawl back into bed before he'd returned.

"Okay, I'm going to stay here the rest of the night. In the morning, I'm taking you to La Push, and we'll figure things out from there. Fuck." Jake paced back and forth again for another moment before climbing into bed with me. I could feel his body thrumming with adrenaline and it made me on edge.

What the hell were we going to do now?


End file.
